Untitled Slush -

The stuff in the bottom of your blue icee before it melts. _-The Lesbian Writers Guild at UCSD-_

Thursday, March 23, 2006


Wednesday, March 22, 2006

just in case you were wondering...

... you guys missed out, big time.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

celebrate spandex and sombreros with a pina colada

hello friends.

in case you missed the world-wide announcement, there is a party tonight with your name on it.
well, actually, it's got my name on it, seeing as it's my birthday (jackass).

mexican hawaiian 80s birthday fusion party
march 18, 730pm
3893 Camino Lindo
San Diego, CA 92122

you're royally invited. you can be my guest of honor.
yes, all of you.
(well, actually, only if you dress appropriately [see theme above])

then again, my friend andres is coming as a pirate.

so whatever, people, just be there.
free mexican food, free alcohol, free break from worrying about the final projects and chapbooks you've yet to begin.

Friday, March 17, 2006

"Drunken Head Bumping" or "I'm an Idiot"

Sometime between 12:30pm and 8:00pm yesterday, I managed to give myself a really nasty bump on the head. I was in the shower today trying to figure out what happened, and if anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I hate it when my life refuses to piece itself together.
Thank you for your time,

Thursday, March 16, 2006

meghan and pallavi

Pallavi says hi. Erika says "Woah. I can smell that from here. It's outta control. Like this class." Meghan says "No comment."

Who doesn't love Kandinsky?

"I've got the same Kandinsky prints that my brother's got/With the same black frames like he bought..." Ok, so, I don't really have a brother. But, I think the lyrics to that Deep Blue Something song are genius. Who doesn't love Kandinsky?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006


Okay so i joined this thing. What exactly is our assignment for this?

Look around you...

So here is a small collection of videos which should open your mind, inspire your writing, or at least help you laugh a little while you're doing your "Week 10 Procrastinating."
You can watch them in any order, but iron is the best, IMHO.

no, i'm not a ho, but i wrote IMHO.

The Brain

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Beware frightening ambiguities ahead!

You will not desperately want to wake up nearly as bad as you will ever desperately want to go back to sleep.

So experimental writing has become locked in the eternal debate, on the highest level ever imagined. The gender crisis.
What makes men men?
What makes women eerie?
What about all these genders that don't feel like either men or eeries?
Is it more sensational to be polar opposites and content without query, or bewildered by the ambiguity which is completely obfuscated from cerebral midgets?

So yeah, I'm a guy. Maybe women find that eerie. I don't think so though. When we boil out the male stereo-types, we are still left without a clouded solution. It is the simplicity of man which threatens the likes of woman.
"How can he understand all the things I'm feeling if he cannot discern his love for football from a fine Cuban cigar?"
"Why is it so hard to listen to me speak about all the thoughts and feelings enveloped around one situation for many minutes without interruption?"
Answers? Maybe.

Many times being male comes along with roles some of us love to play, others hope the situation never arises. Being a man is nothing to bitch about, only because men shouldn't bitch.
Let me illustrate some examples of things guys don't bitch about:
"Why do I have to investigate the scary noise at 3am? I did it last time. It's your turn."
"I took out the trash, and disgusting slime ran down my arms and legs."
"These groceries are really fucking heavy."
"My truck and genitals are in no way directly proportional."
I have never heard these complaints, they might exist, but it's probably in a peculiar situation which might defy stereotypical examples anyway.
So what's the mask men put on?
We're supposed to be strong/tough, brave, mechanical/handy, tall, and powerful.
Passionate/loving, docile/tender, intelligent, and clean are all anomaly traits, often sought, and usually mixed within any combination of the basic characteristics.
What does this leave?
Mixed stereotypes. Now guys are supposed to be: Selfish/Self-driven, rough/tough, dumb, and dirty/unkempt. So anomaly desires by stereotypical women are such men.
Within male community, anomaly traits must be kept hidden or minimized in quantity, because such an individual would become a social outcast among other men. Sometimes, but not always, retreating into the world with other similar men.
The acceptable patterns in an all-male environment are best characterized as emotionless, competitive, calculating, socially plugged in, and sexually fed.
We are stubborn, and we are apt to refuse to show any sign of weakness.
We make fun of each other and rank our comebacks.
If we can't fix it or make it better, we know a guy who can, cheap.
If anyone doubts our sexuality we point the finger: "Hey, I have a girlfriend."

What the hell is going on in society? I'll bore you with a theory.
Beginning of time: women were taken, relationship non-existent.
Much later: Women could get divorces because their asshole husbands were sleeping around and beating them.
More recently: Women demand and get a whole bunch of social equality, relations still stilted.
What's up now: Some unknown number of women want a relationship with a man who can be a "friend." Some of us saw When Harry Met Sally, and do not require an explanation about the men cannot be friends with women law. (Not theory.)
So what happens when a man wants to befriend a woman, or vice-versa? Chaos, my friend.
So now we have a minimum of two new genders:
Women who want men who cannot possibly be in their previous social norm.
Men, who are completely straight, yet are called 'faggot' from passing traffic.
Or are they completely straight?

What exactly happened when the notion of homosexuality entered the field?
Anomaly men wanting anomaly men?
Women wanting other skewed women?

I wish to refer back to my baseball-shaped graph I drew in class.
Sexuality is easier to define:
A being sleeps with a)men b)women c)either d)neither
Gender I'm going to define as everything fulfilling outside intercourse.
A being wants to be entangled with
a)roughneck man b)sensitive/caring man c)pussywhipped man d)nurturing woman e)amazon f)Gwen Stefani
In fact, I'm going to go ahead and say that for every person out there, there's a gender.
There's no day/night light/dark, or man/woman. Black and White are not applicable.
Why? Because the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. What did we learn? That Good and evil are really confusing, and there are volumes on the subject, rarely leaving an ambiguity in who was evil. What do we do when we don't know which is which? Absolutely fucking flip out.

Scenario A:
Killing babies is evil. Privy to knowledge that only one of seven babies in the room will definitely grow up and cause nuclear holocaust, and not knowing specifically which one it is, and having to kill them all and preserve humanity... is good?

Scenario B:
Murder is evil. A mine car is careening out of control and headed to crash into a cliffside, where the unfinished tracks take it. Above, a bridge, with an on looking fat woman peering over the edge. One could nudge this woman over the edge of the bridge, placing her skillfully in the way of the mine car, saving the lives of four people inside. (If you are negotiating the value of the individual human lives, shame on you. And anyway, the fat woman has cancer, and the four people in the mine car are future Nobel laureates).

So why don't we have a male gender and a female gender? Well, let's look at something.
God makes man. God takes part of man, makes woman. Whether we are to perceive woman as a slight change from man, or as this subtle difference creating a world of polar opposites. Either way, it doesn't matter, because the two slept together. And what happens when mating occurs? The traits go into a battle royal and mix and match however they deem fit.
First two offspring: Male. Sexually? Yes. Gender? hm... let's see.
Cain... born first... proud. A tiller of fields, strong, burly, etc.
Abel... born second. A shepherd of sheep. Sure you gotta be strong to lug those lambs around, but hey, I’m sensing some sensitivity here (and definitely blaming Eve).
We're not far into Genesis before Cain yells out "Fag!" and throws a rock at Abel, and wanders off like nothing happened.

I think the conclusion was given to us before the argument even started, thanks to L. Weeks.
The general public cannot tolerate ambiguity, and must define things in binary terms (white/black, light/dark, man/woman). When something is clearly not definable by one of two categories, some man goes apeshit and kills someone.
And it's usually the guys who kill people. And I think it's also guys who are last to tolerate ambiguity. We like the rigid, clear, and tangible. Games have rules. Rules are followed or else. Fire is hot.

So this actually had nothing to do with intercourse at all.
Penises go into Vaginas to make the latest anomalies to the collection.
Live and love, people. Tolerate the uncertain, but remain paranoid of the communists. My advice to you.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

desperate for change

Slobodan Milosevic died today. He was facing 66 counts of criminal activity, war crimes and genocide chief among them.

At first I was angry, knowing he would never get his sentence from The Hague. But, the more I thought about it, the more it just made me sad. Sad to think that genocide is still happening. That there are others will go unpunished in their lifetimes.

It makes me sadder still to think that Milosevic's death made the news, but the individual stories of the estimated 400,000 people who have died in Sudan often go untold. To think that there are mothers who carry their babies around even after they die because they can't bear to put them down. That there are teenage girls and women who are terrified of being gang-raped if they leave their refugee camp to look for fire wood. And, men who are shot on the spot if they test the borders. To think that there are people who live in a world where rape is the preferred alternative.

Why have we pushed Sudan aside? Why did it take Colin Powell so long to declare Sudan a "genocide"? Why aren't we doing more now that he has?

We seem to deal better with genocide when it's over.

As a society, the times we recall the Rwandan genocide are rare. The moments in which we mourn for the Bosnians are rarer still. Rwanda lost 500,000 but the Bosnians lost close to 200,000.

Why does Bosnia's loss of life feel like such an abstract concept to me when Rwanda feels so concrete? Why did I carry a sign that read "NOT ANOTHER RWANDA" when I was protesting the Sudanese genocide, but no one said a thing about Yugoslavia?

More than half a world away from Sudan, and seemingly in another universe, I read of the atrocities and struggle to comprehend. But, the anger and the sadness swirl around inside of me and mesh with my desperate motivation to strive for change.

So, I take baby steps and ask you to join me:

1) Check out the latest news about modern-day slavery and genocide on the American Anti-Slavery Group's website: www.iabolish.com

2) Attend the screening of the new film, "Darfur Diaries" at UCSD on Tuesday, March 14th in Price Center Gallery A.

3) Sign the petition asking the UC system to divest from Sudan:

4) Show up and be heard when the UC Regents vote on divestiture from Sudan later this month.

Untitled Trash: Forgive Me

I never realized I had sent Em an email. I had clicked on accident the button that said saved drafts. I immediately hit the back arrow, but in the milliseconds between page loads her name was surrounded by a faint familiar aura, and curiosity took care of the rest.

How silly I was back then! I think I must have seemed young and almost fanatical. I hope I didn’t cause any irreparable damage. The way I was using humour is, I am sure, illegal. In what way could she have possibly replied?

This is the second time today that this has happened. (Or, rather, the third… I seem to remember rereading another email sent more recently. And as I reread this, I am reminded of a fourth, and the possibility of a fifth now lingers…)

I think I am different today, but I know I make the same mistake every time I communicate without knowing why, impatiently initiating “meaningful” contact because I cannot contain the impulse within, which is not in itself a bad thing, but it gives me regret when I write on a whim, despite the tension I sense, and send it too soon, knowing, as I walk my path, that if I had waited, and as the path branches past, I would have considered my message, and its urgency, irrelevant, redundant, unnecessary.

So I apologize for being brash. And I wish to thank you, for granting me freedom, and by resisting, perhaps, the urge to chastise me after receiving my wholly inadequate contact.

Friday, March 10, 2006


If you like folk/folk rock and you haven't yet heard of Girlyman, check 'em out. They're pretty gender-bending and their lyrics are amazing!


Thursday, March 09, 2006


It's break for Laurie's class... thought everyone could use a little gender bending enjoyment.

Liefs, MegP

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

trivia for all

for those of us who love random trivia....check out www.funtrivia.com.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

What the hell could Monday have to say...

Laurie Weeks: Write 20 lines a day, and your dreams will come true.
Student: I'm going to barf into this lunchbag and hand it to the receptionist.
Laurie Weeks: What's the deal with that? Have you ever noticed that our moments of inspiration are clouded by provocations of our own?
Student: I'm just wondering why the stench of perspiration is drowning me, even when I seem to be uncovering something new.
Laurie Weeks: Well you should go about this a different way... have you ever tried to smell the ink instead of write it? Your approach can change, should change especially depending on mood...
Student: But it is not the technique that is inhibiting, it is the existance that seems to be bothersome, sometimes 20 lines is too much existance for one day.
Laurie Weeks: You tried, didn't you? That's all I was really asking, 19 lines one day won't kill you either.
Student: I stopped after three.
Laurie Weeks: Well maybe you just need to read, we have a time where we're more observant than productive. You just need to rechannel your energies into something that feels right for you.
Student: You know, I think you're right. Writing has little to do with my hand, and more to do with my mind. I never feel empowered by depleting ink, and I feel fulfilled when I read myself to sleep.
Laurie Weeks: Well, one day you may learn to read then write, and confuse the feelings. Who says completion of a day, or a night even, must have yield.
Student: You did, though.
Laurie Weeks: 20 lines is not an event that has a beginning and an end. It's like 20 pushups in the sense that it's hard to get started, but should come out abruptly and altogether. However, pushups don't have any function here. The concentration in using your muscles to pump through those 20 and the force exerted on them during and after they are completed is what I want to happen to your writing. 20 lines are 20 pushups, except we're video taping the pushups and editing out the ones where you fall down, or struggle too much.
Student: I think I understand a bit better now. So you might say Acker or Leyner have strong biceps and pex?
Laurie Weeks: Well, they do their pushups with only one arm, and they've been doing it for a long time.
Student: What happens when we write 20 lines a night for a year?
Laurie Weeks: You mean besides the 7300 lines?
Student: Yeah. Does it mean anything?
Laurie Weeks: Well, do it, then tell me how you feel. Writing is work, but it's also this dysfunction in us all. When you have adapted, you will no longer write 20 lines a night, but pages upon pages will surface. Every night will be this exploration into your cavernous mind. Throw a rock, find a Dead Sea Scroll. Spelunk and uncover Atlantis, just go somewhere.
Student: I will, you'll watch. I'll make you proud.

Monday, March 06, 2006

1 for 2

So, Brown gave the shaft. I'm 1 for 2 on the grad schools. And, thanking my lucky stars I got into Duke and got the boot from Brown, instead of it being the other way around!!!

Look! It's us! And you're the ugly one...

Someone write to me how beautiful these things are
The cold steel rails, the jumping minnow

Fishes uncaught in bills of mallards and terns
Bobbing heads in green; dorks on a pier

Someone tell me how distant this is

Midnight frustrated fisherman pacing the rocks
Gimp bird with a one-foot perch, a tear
A startle and a flap; two steps straight back

Someone embellish for me the two penguins in the night

Coronado collegiates: cold early Monday March morning
Phantom boats' wake pushing the tide

Henpecked cuckold searching something in the rocks

Someone be nostalgic for the couple in the car nearby

Coronoado locals: celebrating for the sake of night

And when we returned they weren't even there

To take them up on the challenge, an unspoken dare...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

uh oh

and, i just spilled a big glob of tzatziki on the Caps Lock and Shift keys. must be a sign that it's time to put the after-midnight snack away and go read.

beyond explanation

it definitely was a bizarro-day. you got the banana story down, but you forgot to mention the old white man in the white robe and turban leading the girl with Down Syndrome who was wearing tap shoes all around the vegetarian fusion restaurant. oh, life. there's nothing like it.

And that's when I knew...

I didn't feel like I had to sneak around the office, showing up late. I actually felt pretty confident, I didn't feel I had done something wrong, and when I went into my boss's office, she basically told me that I can make her look like an idiot. Hurray, I win. Point, Adry. Prologue: a mouthful of honey cured ham sandwich struggles to undergo complete chewing because a black man wearing a fanny pack, bike shorts, button shirt with a banana in the pocket, and sunglasses, was riding one of those miniature bikes. This was on the sidewalk on 7th Avenue, right outside the Quizno's on B. I didn't want him to see me laughing so I just covered my face. But, I knew at this moment, it'd be a bizarro-day. How many times can you fall in love? How many times can you feel like it's your first kiss, and have every time you play the cd through, feel like it's the first time? When does life throw a curve ball that lands in the parking lot? I didn't even feel the recoil on that one. I am not a void, and I feel grounded again. I know I trust life, and am looking forward to the things it plants in my stride. Maybe life is a motorcycle, upright and open, agile and dangerous. Maybe life is more like a evening fog, enticing and mysterious, soft and docile. I cannot believe how great it is to be quantified and evaluated positively, and I will always remember the bright yellow banana.

Friday, March 03, 2006

dont you let me dowwwwn


you can always count on molly to give you the face that reads

"i just worked a bitch of a day at Corporate Soul-Selling Central for too many hours at not enough pay AND I THINK THAT'S CRAP"

way to be, molly. way to be.


so, is the title really supposed to say Lesbian Writers Guilt? i believe that be a typo.

Oh, my

It is not my job description to make you look good.
If i have made you look like an idiot, I can only imagine I have succeeded at life.
Please don't pull that "dead in the street" "worried" shit, who are you anyway?
This is the kind of Hell I didn't want to imagine.

can't buy me loooove, yea

so you guys totally missed '80s movie night.

i mean, do you even know how hot amanda peterson is?

and how about molly ringwald? did she ever grow up, or what?

goddamn i was born in the wrong decade and with an unnatural attraction to freckles and big hair.
mm mm honnnay.

Old friends, new thoughts

It's not necessarily what he talks about that I ever find ultimately gripping. It's always his eloquence and force by which he can argue. It is this quality in his person which is more or less addictive, and causes my brain to reach in two directions. I need to ground myself, first, and then I can reach way into the distance, waving the stubby claw of my brain around in the breezy darkness until I wrap it around the point he is making, while I reach the other nub towards this comfortable rigid plane which functions like the yellow line on the road, or the one that shows where the doors in public schools will swing out (were we really that dumb, that we couldn't just imagine how doors opened?). This line I associate with my public education anyway, mixed with the laws of the land, most of which are bullshit anyway, so I am not reluctant to try and envelop the ideas of this man.
He wanted me to think about Africa. Why is this continent so dependent on outside assistance, and not civilized? Africa has not invented new useful things, or had displays of heroism or greatness like we would have seen in the Roman Empire. A land that that is not inventing, building, is stagnant, and not civilized. Of course, my wording can never give it the command he has over his own query, but I react, still. I wonder why. I feel some sort of obligation. He says that maybe there's something to come, that Africa will have it's Jefferson or (someone great).
So I guess be on the lookout for Africa, it might get its shit together and bring something new to the world for the name of good. Because God made man, and man made democracy, and democracy is a good thing. Because God made man in his image, man makes good things to imitate God. That's the order of things, we gather.
Much Love

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Ok ok comments allowed

So I'm working on the layout still, sheesh. Anyone feelng HTML saavy enough to work the colors a bit? I'm posting in orange just so I know when to stop reading on this thing. And also choosing the font "Trebuchet" because it's pleasant to read. I'm also in the process of uploading my super hot profile picture. It will look something like this (exactly).
As it turns out i didn't realize LW was Laurie Weeks' initials at the time. I was actually shooting for "Lesbian Writers Guild at UCSD" but since I realized that I'm not a lesbian, liver worm goblin was my final choice. Then I realized that Kristin had already guessed it so now i have to change it into something else, like Laurie Weeks' Groupies.

Congrats Kristin. You are awesome.

identical, fraternal, or Siamese?

4:01 - i can't believe it! we certainly are twins, meg. you are the awesomest! thanks for kickin' it with me and that breakfast burrito! cheers to eileen for cancelling class.

by the way, has the lesbian Volvo made a full recovery?

(my mom's out of surgery and doing well, although that is not the case for her appendix.)

i heart(ed) mormon girls

so, uh, why are there no comments enabled?
i want to leave comments dammit.

anyway, yes, i was aware that one could revirginize themselves if part of the mormon cult - er, religion?
my ex girlfriend of over two years was mormon. she's been de-gayed.

and no i'm not kidding.
classic, so classic (my life, that is).

ps: kristin you posted at the exact same time that i did.
we're twins if i ever saw 'em.

liver worm goblin?

ok, maybe not.

i'm gonna guess that lwg stands for...

a) lit world group?
b) laurie weeks groupies?

ah, blogdom

hi there.
this is me.
i'm happy to be here

Bullwhip Driver

I just want to take a moment to redevirginize this blog.
Yeah, that's right. I started this blog in 2003 and it only got one post from me, then faded out of existence. That's why we're starting fresh.
Did you know that Mormon women can undergo a ceremony to be revirginized if they had previously lost their innocence? I have no idea how this happens, but it will remain a mystery until we get an inside man.
Thought of the day: what does lwgucsd stand for?
I'd tell you but I want you to think on it for a day.

Oh yeah, and you should probably join this blogring.
Hit me up, i'll hook you up.

Notes from (H)el(l)sevier -
Place I might want to live: 8800 Technology Forest Place, The Woodlands, Texas 77381
Especially if it wasn't in Texas.